It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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