when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
