I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
