I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize