he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my shit smells like andre
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
