Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
sex in a hospital.. check
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize