Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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