Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
