what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize