you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
