Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
