Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
