I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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