Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it glows. i had to have it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
