Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
