Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
