I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
