Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize