We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
