i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
