The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
