I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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