party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize