out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize