The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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