sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
