were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
