Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
