He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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