i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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