Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
