At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
