My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
nutella sex= disaster
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
