I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
