I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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