Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
