Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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