a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
