OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
