i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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