jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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