This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
