talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
