never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
