She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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