STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
