I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
