There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
