She's JV to your varsity
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
