is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize