got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
