I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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