If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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