I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
