i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize