is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
