I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This is my gift to your gina
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
