it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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