"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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