What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize