haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You smell like stripper and shame
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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