Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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