i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
