I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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