It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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