What a fucking waste of an outfit
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
