normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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