dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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