sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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