You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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