Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
