Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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