if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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