How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
