Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
