umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize