And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize