honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize