And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
